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Re: Re: Naruto Uzumaki – Before Shippuden

Digitally Enhanced Free to Play Universal RPG | Atomic RPG System › Forums › General Forums › Player Character (PC) Discussion › Naruto Uzumaki – Before Shippuden › Re: Re: Naruto Uzumaki – Before Shippuden

August 12, 2015 at 5:38 pm #6536
Atomic RPG Master
Keymaster

I am not familiar with this story but I think they character looks awesome. Great job so far.

Only your Atomic Friends will be able to see this character. So when it is done, Contribute him so that he will be able to be seen in the public database. This is a great character and I love how you have captured the them. I can get a feel of who Naruto is even though I have never seen the show.

Here are my thoughts to polish up the character to have them ready for submission.

RP (Roleplay)
Looks great but have long descriptions. Try to shorten them. “Has a seal jutsu mark on his abdomen.” || “Jutsu Mark on Abdomen”
Add a Language.
Add at least one character note to help describe how this character might be played, motivations, and/or tactics. As someone who is not familiar with this character I would need at least a little direction to understand how this character is built and should be played.
You may want to mention the other characters and/or npcs that are created in the notes. This way players can easily find related Atomic RPG System content.

Items
First Hokage Necklace is a little to strong for a 1st level character. The value should remain under the wealthy limit of 3,750. You can see the character wealth range here: https://atomicrpgsystem.com/character-rewards-experience-treasure/ Scroll down to “Character Cash Table – Click to Enlarge”

This item would be a good thing to “level up” as you played the character though. Perhaps it could unlock further Powers.

Powers
Shadow Clone Jutsu – Very cool but this Power will need a range of at least 1 to affect an enemy with the Defenses -1.
Demon Fox Cloak – Same as above.
Uzumaki Barrage – Needs a Range of at least 1 to affect another target.

I will add validation to the builder that requires a Range of at least 1 with Offensive Effects.

Leveling
Need to have a good description of the character in Level One Notes. This is the description that shows up as the base character description in the character search tool.

Other than those couple small things this character looks great. I love what you have done with it. Keep up the good work!